“The Corleone Family wants to buy me out? No, I buy you out, you don’t buy me out.”

The NYSE/NASDAQ/ICE/Deutsche Borse saga continues with new proposals breaking almost daily.  The other day, Charlie Gasparino from Fox News, reported that NYSE CEO Duncan Niederauer is considering bidding for Nasdaq as a way to stop NDAQ/ICE takeover of NYSE Watch Gasparino report here Apparently, the thought of NASDAQ buying him out made Mr. Niederauer about as angry as Moe Greene when Michael Corleone told him he wanted to buy him out.  You may remember the line from “The Godfather” when Moe Greene says: “The Corleone Family wants to buy me out? No, I buy you out, you don’t buy me out.” 

 We thought it might be fun to pretend that Niederauer was Moe Greene, Bob Greifeld of Nasdaq was Michael Corleone and Charlie Gasparino was Fredo.  Here is how the scene would have sounded:

Greifeld: My credit good enough to buy you out?   

Niederauer: Buy me out? 

Greifeld: The stock exchange, the casino. The NASDAQ wants to buy you out.

Niederauer: The NASDAQ wants to buy me out? No, I buy you out, you don’t buy me out.

Greifeld: Your stock exchange loses money, maybe we can do better.

Niederauer: You think I’m skimmin off the top, Bob?

Greifeld:You’re unlucky.

Niederauer: You damn market makers, you really make me laugh. I do you a favor and take the AMEX in when you’re having a bad time, and now you’re gonna try and push me out!

Greifeld: You took the AMEX in because the government bankrolled your exchange. Now we’re talking business, let’s talk business.

Niederauer: Yeah, let’s talk business, Bob. First of all, you’re all done. The NASDAQ don’t even have that kind of muscle anymore. The market is sick, right? You’re getting chased out of New York by the high frequency traders. What do you think is going on here? You think you can come to my exchange and take over? I talked to the HFT’s – I can make a deal with them, and still keep my exchange!

Greifeld: Is that why you slapped Charlie Gasparino around in public?

Gasparino: Aw, now that, that was nothin’, Bob. Duncan didn’t mean nothin’ by that. Yeah, sure he flies off the handle every once in a while, but me and him, we’re good friends, right Duncan?

Niederauer: I got a business to run. I gotta kick asses sometimes to make it run right. We had a little argument, Charlie and me, so I had to straighten him out.

Greifeld: You straightened Charlie out?

Niederauer: He was banging out two stories at a time! Other reporters couldn’t get a story on the merger! What’s the matter with you.

Greifeld: I leave for New York tomorrow, think about a price.

Niederauer: Sonofab*tch! Do you know who I am? I’m Duncan Niederauer! I made my bones when you were going out with cheerleaders!

Gasparino:  Bob! You do not come to the NYSE and talk to a man like Duncan like that!

Greifeld: Charlie, you’re a good reporter, and I love you. But don’t ever take sides with anyone against the NASDAQ again. Ever.

Guys, good luck with those exchange mergers.  Maybe try to add some value to the trading community along the way and not just your shareholders.  Remember the main reason why you exist is to help companies raise capital and grow so that they can create jobs and add to the economy.  It’s not just about selling market data and colo space.