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Lingo Every Trader Today Should Know

17

February, 2011

 

 

Yesterday CNBC/Bankrate.com had a nice collection of Acronyms That Every Investor Should Know: Investing Acronyms. That list included ROE, ETF, GARP, and most importantly PE (Return On Equity, Exchange Traded Fund, Growth At  A Reasonable Price, and Price Earnings). We knew each of the nine acronyms! Taste It!

Well, that list made us realize that we need to come up with a list of terminology that that every trader, carbon-based or not, needs to know in today’s landscape. We debated for hours long into the night, and finally came up with our top ten terminologies that all traders in 2011 should know. We are calling it our Top Ten Terminologies That All Traders in 2011 Should Know. Booyaaaa; let’s have at it then:

Top Ten Terminologies That All Traders in 2011 Should Know

10) Hochfrequenz-Handel: This is German for High Frequency Trading. Learn it. Live it. And learn to dance like Deter on Sprockets. You should also learn in German how to say “good bye”, as in to your money (auf Wiedersehen!), or at least the more familiar “bis später”, which is more accurate, as it kind of means “see you later the same day”, which with Hochfrequenz-Handel you will likely say a quadrillion times.

9) FLASH! As in Crash. As in Order. As In Direct Edge. As in Free Look At our SH##$t.

8 ) Server Farm: A stock exchange. A climate controlled “clean” room that houses Hochfrequenz-Handel firms’ traders, errr servers. The primary way that for-profit exchanges make money by arming Hochfrequenz-Handel firms to out-maneuver the owners of the market. These farms are typically located in horrifically corrupt states, whose politicians embrace them despite the fact that these farms add like zero to the corrupt states’ economies, because they pay like zero taxes and hire only six people. Except for armed guards. Which are paid for by taxpayers. FML.

7) HFT: A Verb. To cut ahead of every single shopper simultaneously while they are in line at the grocery store, and to do so at the precise moment they are ready to put their items on the checkout belt. Usage is as follows: “Dude. WTF You HFT’d me!”

6) DATA FEEDS: Information about how you trade, where you trade, what style you trade, your price levels, your stops, and what PH level the Tapas meal you ate last night was. It is typically sold or “provided” by exchanges to the Hochfrequenz-Handel guys.

5) A Microsecond: The time it takes HFT to kiss you.

4) Eleven Seconds: The holding period HFT is arguing should be required for them to qualify for long term capital gains rates. The bill was introduced by Reps. Bachus and Hensarling last month.

3) GITCO: Verb. To hire a Regulator. Usage is as follows: “Our business plan involves rolling out our product in the next six months. Our strategy is to GITCO in several nations simultaneously.”

2) Routing Strategy. It’s kind of like this: you and your in-labor wife hire a TAXI to rush you to the hospital, and the driver tells you he will get you there as fast as he can, but then he stops along the way to pick up LOTTO for his girlfriend, drops by his friends house with coffee, then drives by Aunt Ethyl’s because she needs him to go to the pharmacy and get her Polident, then heads to Crazy Jim Cramer’s house because he blew out 6 shirts this week at the elbows and needs a ride to the Short Hills Mall, and the driver does all these stops because all of the above-mentioned folks are paying him his gas money. Except you and your wife thought you hired him.

1) BTFD Ummm. You know. 

PS… this is courtesy Craig Cummings at Cantor:

Quote of the day goes to Chuck Lorre, the producer of Two and a half men.  If you read the credits this week after the show you saw this note from Chuck: “I exercise regularly. I eat moderate amounts of healthy food. I make sure to get plenty of rest. I see my doctor once a year and my dentist twice a year. I floss every night. I’ve had chest x-rays, cardio stress tests, EKG’s and colonoscopies. I see a psychologist and have a variety of hobbies to reduce stress. I don’t drink. I don’t smoke. I don’t do drugs. I don’t have crazy, reckless sex with strangers.  If Charlie Sheen outlives me Im gonna be really pissed.”

 

 

Where we left off 4:00pm EST:

INDU               12,288.17                                +61.53

SPX                 1,336.32                                  +8.31

CCMP              2,825.56                                  +21.21

Futures now at 7:00 am EST:

DJA                             -5 

SPA                             -1.50

NDA                            -2.0

Key Data out today:

 

08:30:              Consumer Price Index (expecting 0.3%)

08:30:              Consumer Price Index ex food and energy (0.1%)

08:30:              Consumer Price Index including Food Energy Tuition Taxes Healthcare (expected 67%)

08:30:              Initial Jobless Claims (expected 400k)

08:30:              Continuing Claims ( expected 3,893,000)

08:30:              Jobless Claims Excluding the Effects of the Weather (expecting zero. Everyone is employed).

10:00:              Leading Indicators

10:00:              Philly Fed

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