This was sent to me in an email chain....

August 15 -
Moved to a new home in Jersey. It's so beautiful here.
The lake to the north looks so majestic.
I can hardly wait to see it snow covered.
I'm going to love it here.

October 14 -
New Jersey is definitely the most beautiful place on earth.
The leaves have turned all the colors and shades of red and orange.
Went for a ride through the park and saw some  deer. They are so graceful.
Certainly they are the most wonderful animals on earth.
This must be paradise, I LOVE IT HERE.

November  10 -
Deer season will start soon. I can't imagine anyone wanting to kill such a
gorgeous animal,
hope it will snow soon. I love it here.
 
Those red and orange leaves have covered my yard. Looks like a magnificent
multi-colored carpet. HOW BEAUTIFUL. Raking and cleaning up the yard will be
an opportunity for invigorating exercise in the cool crisp air.

November  15 -
Ah, more leaves and more exercise.

November  18 -
Jesus, still more leaves. Guess it's best to wait until they've all fallen
before I rake again.

November  25 -
Finally, all of the trees lost their leaves and today's final raking it's
over for this season.
Chiropractor suggested I use a lawn maintenance service next year.
Only four blisters became infected. Should probably remember to use gloves.

November  30 -
What the f--k? Where did all of those leaves come from?
A little wind last night and the lawn is covered again.
Oh well, they'll just have to wait until spring.

December  12 -
It snowed last night, FINALLY. Woke up to find everything blanketed in
white. It looks like a postcard.
We went outside and cleaned the snow off the steps and shoveled the
driveway. Had a snowball fight (I won) and when the snowplow came by and we
had to shovel the end of the driveway again.
What a beautiful place. I Love Jersey

December  14 -
More snow last night, I love it. The snowplow did his trick to the driveway
again.
I Love it here.

December 19 -
More snow again last night. Can't get out of the driveway to get to work.
I'm exhausted from shoveling. F---ing snowplow.

December 22 -
More of that white sh-t fell again last night. As if dealing with the leaves
weren't bad enough, now I've got blisters all over my hands from shoveling,
must remember to wear gloves. I think the snowplow hides around the corner
and waits until I'm finished shoveling the driveway. The a--hole.

December  25 -
Merry Christmas.  
More frigging snow. If I ever get my  hands on that son-of-a-bitch who
drives the snowplow.
I swear I'll kill the bastard. Don't know why they don't use more salt on
the roads to melt the f---ing ice.

December  27 -
More white sh-t last night. Have been inside for three days except for
shoveling out the driveway after that plow goes through every time.
F---ing gloves got wet and then froze on my hands.  Doctor said it was just
a mild case of frostbite, disfiguration is probably only temporary.
Can't go anywhere, car is stuck in a mountain of white sh-t. The weatherman
says to expect another 10 inches of the sh-t tonight. Do you know how many
shovels full of snow 10 inches is?
 
December  28 -
The f---ing weatherman was wrong. We got 34 inches of that white sh-t. At
this rate it won't melt 'till summer.
The plow got stuck up the road and the bastard came to the door and asked to
borrow a shovel. After I told him I'd already broken six of them shoveling
all the sh-t he pushed into the driveway, I broke my last one on his
f---ing head.

January  4 -  
Finally got out of the house today. Went to the store to get food and on the
way back I hit a damned deer that ran in front of my car.
Did about $3000 damage. F---ing beast should be killed. Wish the hunters had
killed them all last November.
 
May 3 -  
Took the car to the garage in town. The thing is rusting out from all the
f---ing salt they put all over the roads.
 
May 10 -
Moved to The Villages in Florida .
I can't imagine why anyone in their right mind would ever live in that
God-forsaken state of New Jersey