Some Thoughts:

Send them in today please. At 2:00pm we will post the best euphemism received via email today! A Blue Ribbon Panel will select the winner, who will win a $98 dollar coupon to ITUNES (actually, you won’t; the contest is not real!) What is a euphemism you ask? It is when you sanitize a saying to make it more palatable and acceptable. Like “collateral damage”. Or “pre-owned”. Or “latency arbitrage”, which is what Automated Professional Traders do to you, but without dinner first. Or my new favorite: “providing liquidity”.

“Providing Liquidity”: from the Latin providum (God) and liquidus (Help You). It is performed only when the certainty of profit exists, day in and day out, often for 4 years straight (red flag?). When this condition is met, “providing liquidity” is done in 3,000 stocks each day, hundreds of thousands of times. When it is not needed. In Citigroup. So that one can buy 2300 shares of C at $4.3599/share on Brokertrade.com. Who will then sell that order to a firm that will internalize it. Who will then fill you at $4.3599 because it is really trading at 4.34 to 4.35 ($4.35 x $4.36 is the stale SIP quote). If the market is stressed, or “heavy”,  “providing liquidity” becomes “you sold PG at $.01; thank you”.

The funding for this contest will come from our placing NASDAQ BX AT THE TOP OF OUR ROUTING TABLE, just like their ad that they sent out yesterday implored. (see here: http://www.magnetmail.net/actions/email_web_version.cfm?recipient_id=23367915&message_id=1025634&user_id=NASDAQ )

SO because of Nasdaq’s $98 rebate to us, we will change our routing tables to put them at the top, and sacrifice your best execution. It’s ok… they outsourced their regulatory function. It’s cool. Everyone is doing it now…

A simple 980,000 share buy order in a liquid ETF will generate a 1/1000th of a penny rebate, and so this rebate will fund the $98 ITUNES card. Why $98? Because there is a $99 limit on gifts that brokers are allowed to give clients, and we are choir boys here. According to our regulators, I am pretty sure it would be improper to give a client a $100 gift or ticket etc. Now if I wanted to give an employee working for our regulators a $250,000+ job, well then that would be ok. Not kidding!

PS Who is now going to trust me to get best execution on that 980,000 share ETF order? Any Takers?

OK, off the soap box: It will be 89 degrees  on this day in NJ in early June, which for me means allergies, as well as a low volume day in the market. Where I will likely yet again argue with a friend about which is better: NASCAR or MLB. Awww heck. The weekend is almost here; let’s dance!

Hot town, summer in the city; Back of my neck getting burnt and gritty

Been down, isn’t it a pity; Doesn’t seem to be a  shadow in the city.

All around, people looking half dead, Walking on the sidewalk, hotter than a match head.

But at night it’s a different world; Go out and find a girl.

Come-on come-on and dance all night; Despite the heat it’ll be alright

And babe, don’t you know it’s a pity, That the days can’t be like the nights…

In the summer. In the city. In the summer. In the city…