Ok. First of all, Joe is on vacation in South Carolina, the birthplace of high frequency trading (if our memory serves us well, it all started in a little town called Mt. Pleasant). So, while he is out we are allowed to laugh and smile when the futures are green. No stimulus bashing, no deficit talk, no equity outflow stats, rather just plain old earnings beats to make us dance!

Secondly, there is another HFT Happy Hour within a week! Woo Hoo. $8.9999 cover charge, all the wings you can eat in a millisecond, and you can cut at the bar if you co-locate! Finally, last but not least, today marks the beginning of Shark Week. I love Shark Week. Shark Week on Discovery Channel is awesome because, after a year of swimming with the creatures in dark pools, we get to safely watch them on a different kind of screen, and where they belong: in oceans!

By the way, along the “more speed is not always good” line of thinking, how about the new airport in Dubai, which is considering one-stop Passenger Check-in and Security for the sake of speed? Not good.

But fear not, as every asset class from every country around the world is up 1.75-2%.

Hey Joe if you are reading this, please allow me to make your Monday. There is an article on CNBC.com : http://www.cnbc.com/id/38504275 . The jist of it is that the economy is so bad that counterfeiters are trading down. Chinese factories have so much capacity that they are not only copying $2800 Louis Vuitton handbags, they are now counterfeiting Angel Soft toilet paper.

The market closed relatively flat Friday, despite larger intraday moves. Volume was anemic at 4.73 billion consolidated NYSE shares, with 6 of 10 sectors rising. The S&P500 avoided  a third lower low , and reversed at the July uptrend line. Technical bulls hope for a 70 point rally from here to take is near 1170.

Where we left off 4:00pm EST:

INDU                      10,465.94                                              -1.22

SPX                        1,101.60                                               +0.07

CCMP                    2,254.70                                                +3.01

Futures now at 7:30am EST:

DJA                                                                                        +112

SPA                                                                                       +12.70

NDA                                                                                       +20.25

Key Data out today:

10:00:                                     ISM Manufacturing

10:00:                                     Construction Spending

10:15:                                     Bernanke speaks

Since the prior close, some key stories:

– Nokia Siemens ready to sell 1/3 stake in NSN joint venture (rumor was out Friday)

–               Asia up across the board, from 2% Taiwan to 1% India.

–               HSBC and BNP both beat on earnings, lead financials higher  overseas.

–               Lazlo Birinyi sees continues US Rally.

–               BP will begin pumping mud to permanently plug well.

–               Semiconductor sales miss SIA July sales comes in at 13% increase vs. 20% expected.

–               PIMCO aggressively buying treasuries in recent weeks; deflation?

–               House democrat Maxine Waters to face ethics trial. Please don’t let the world see more coverage of her; it makes    us all look bad.

–               Small business lending edges higher; Thompson /Paynet SB Lending index rises 4% form a year ago.

–               Ford completes Volvo sale.

–               Intel close to deal to buy Infineon’s wireless business.

–               Barron’s positive on BAC, F, TER, KO, and EBAY; negative on STRA, CPRT, AMD.

Significant Movers This Morning:

KWK +16%, HAS + 9%, PXP +4%, DFS +4%, ATPG +4%, VMED – 9%, MOS -3%